Manal and Alaa's bit bucket

Success & Failure
Fragile-hearted& Stone-hearted
Weak& Strong
Intelligent& Acting intelligent
Self-INconfident& Self-confident
Forgivable & Unforgivable
Open-minded & Close-minded

Some of umay notice that I’ve once written under the title of Actsof Regret, which was a direct impact to the events in the day b4, n also asa result of having nb that day to talk to thru this situation except my loyalelectronic bro, but as for this time, although the situation was even worse nmore shocking but I was lucky enough to have found some great ppl by my side whoreally helped me over the case of un-balance that I was experiencing back then.That’s y the title this time is different, have I written 3 days earlier, itmay have been “Acts of Collapse”!!

For it tobe short as its similar one, I’ll start now, by the same style,

If theywere to tell my story, tell them u may ask those:

the old round swing

pants’ rope

The song “لا بينا حلم”

El-Gala’ Bridge

I was not planning on writinganth this week, coz I’m extremely busy, but didn’t want the last entry to be mymemory in ur minds, so I decided to express some of the things I’ve beenwanting to say since that day in Ramadan…

That day was very normal to anb,the last Friday in Ramadan, that’s when I was drawn apart from the purest heartthat I ever felt, the kindest one, the dearest one, the closest one. I tried tohold myself together while saying goodbye, but I discovered that once I turn myface the other way, I couldn’t help the tears, so I ran out of the airport withnth but a feeling of missing her hug, her voice her tendering hands.

Dont knowwht’s with the tag biz!! w el moshkela that I already did TOW 3's n TOW 10,5yrs now am going 4 TOW 7's b2a !!  dont mind me, let's go...

UN: 7’s

*** 1st tag:
7 things I plan to do *isA*:

Events:
- Close friendshastled by me as I was given the leadership of the team, some even showed morethan just expressions but rather clear comments, others practice their art ofsabotage, n some also used phsyco-ways to prove me not qualified for this title                 !
- A newly-acquired trustworthy friend has double crossed me n left me thinkingI have all the truth, n the feeling that he opened up to me, n then he tells mehe's not supposed to correct my prespective of him                                                                                                    !!
- Lost a valuable 1-of-a-kind CD that is not only important to me, but to NINEother ppl, n didn't have a clue how to find it or @ least take a shot ofsearching for it                        !!!
- Some completely stranger(ess ;) ) insulted me w/o a clear reason, but that'snot z pt, it's that my response was even more insulting to me                                                                         !!!!
- Totally made a fool of myself in z sec of my fav subject by throwing the 1stanswer
appearing to my mind [ 21!! duh!!]                                                                     !!!!!
- Made a  gr8 wrong move towards ACES,  spreading a gr8 mana of"low spirit", n "depression" powerful strikes, afterchecking out the brochure of ICGE in AUC                                        !!!!!!
- Been forced down to Earth only coz of a "late response" n made abig deal out of it, n finding out that I wasn't capapble of being this strong nsteady, but rather a fragile mask that I wear which will collapse @ the 1stsign of anxiety                                                   !!!!!!!
- A 2-day’s work turned down by 1 of my fellows in my team coz of a stupidreason....size!....n a strong feeling of giving up trying to do sth good forthe IT committee, coz of a kinda close-minded comment                                                                              !!!!!!!!
-  Not knowing wht to say when asked to head to z mosque topray                     !!!!!!!!!
-  NO COURAGE for even begging God todeliver me the knowledge to follow the right route, n live my life taking it,coz of a slight feeling of guilt                                  !!!!!!!!!!

Facts:
- I don’t stand being led, in if it is to happen, my leader must be mysuperior in that field, also I never get along with team players unless they wereas good as me

Don't Know, y did I fade in silence?? Is it coz she was right?? Or coz I think she might be right?

If only she'd waited for maybe a day, things 'd have changed completely,

I now don't know how to feel, happy for knowing her qualities, or sad for having to bear that distance, or weak not to prevent that, or angry coz she is not right all through, or depressed for hearing this, or afraid of.......LOSING HER!!

PLz don't Go.... I Can't imagine a better life.... Plz don't make me regret anth I told, asked, did, or heard.... Plz still be the Queen....Queen of my heart

Nautious,

Sherif

 Maybe u’ll find this topic beyond my capabilities of writing but it is only motivated by my deep experience of this feeling, so if u’r surprised, don’t worry that’s just a temporary fluke! Don’t 4get to 4get this diction…

إنها لمحات، لكن ليست كأي لمحات... ربما تحوي مشاعر متداخلة أو تدق أجراس معينة في ذهن البعض أو تحاول رسم شبح ابتسامة علي ثغر البعض الآخر... لكنها اجتمعت جميعا علي هدف واحد، أنها تبعث علي شعور لا يخالجني أي شك في معرفته... إنه... الحنين